Happy Women’s Day

Woman, such a small word but has a huge meaning and importance. She plays almost all the important roles in everyone’s lives. Starting from mother, sister, friend, lover, wife, daughter and so on. One thing common in all these roles is that she binds us together. When she comes in your life, she makes you a better person. And this is not just true for men, but equally true for women.

A woman is like a needle and thread. She might prick you at times, but she weaves your life together with love and warmth. Wherever she goes, she makes the place feel like home. She puts love in every aspect of life. It’s an inbuilt gift that she has, she can make your life comfortable, exciting.

She goes through a lot of struggles at all levels and phases of her life beyond imagination. She faces many ugly people (ugly by thoughts and actions) and experiences at all times. What a woman can endure, no one ever can. That’s why she’s strong, that’s why she is divine. She’s strong because she can accept situations, emotions and feelings of herself and others. She has compassion, she can feel your pain, joy, excitement or any other feeling.

On this women’s day I wish everyone a very happy women’s day. Do not forget that you are not just special today but you’re special everyday. Let’s celebrate our differences, let’s celebrate our contributions in each other’s lives, let’s celebrate all the accomplishments, let’s celebrate all the failures, let’s celebrate mutual respect, let’s celebrate our love and affection. Celebrate your womanhood, be proud, be lovely, be beautiful, be bold, but more than anything be YOU.

A Divine Affair

Sometimes you just wonder whether there is someone in this world who is meant for you. Someone who thinks you’re interesting, lovable and is attracted to you. The idea seems so far fetched that you don’t believe if that’s even possible. That you deserve someone like that, and in reality you would actually meet someone like that. You feel out of place as that’s the one thing that actually matters. You’re just in love with the idea of that person, so much so that, there is a sense of commitment with the idea.

You keep searching for this love, pray to God seeking a way out, just a ray of hope and assurance that it has a slight possibility. Then you meet a person who is close to what you think is perfect, you are made aware of the fact that such a person exists. But more often than not, that person doesn’t feel the same. It’s like teasing a hungry person with food and not let him eat. This is even worse than not knowing that such a person exists. Because now you can see it but can’t have it.

Then in all that frustrating search, when you just wish to quit, a charming person, someone who is a way lot better than the idea of a perfect match comes along. You know it in your heart that this person is way out of your league, but you still want to go all in. Once you break the ice and start to talk you realise that she’s much more amazing than what you thought.

Now you’re awestruck because this person thinks you’re interesting, lovable and near perfect for her. This seems next to impossible, whether it is all a lovely dream or an illusion. But every passing day assures that this is true. You start falling for her even more, everytime you think about her and talk to her. To you’re surprise, she starts to fall for you too. It all seems like a grand master plan of God to make us live our separate lives so that one day out of no where we meet.

From the day you start talking, everything that happened starts to make sense. You start to feel like no one can love you the way she does and you can’t love anyone the way you love her. You realise that there can be no better person than her, because she’s just perfect. Within no time your life has changed, like you imagined it to be when you wanted to fall in love, and it’s so much more. She becomes your world, she matters the most. Your day starts and ends with her, your world revolves around her and she becomes part of every thought.

A divine affair starts when you first see her, when you hold her hand. In her presence you realise that what exactly was missing in life, and that’s not just a feeling or awareness, it’s her sheer existence. Every moment, every thought, every action, every emotion, every smile, every tingling feeling of missing her and a lot lot more. You’re made aware that she is a divine blessing. The answer to every prayer. The concept of love is defined where you love her for being her. An affair that is so pure, true, and sublime. You love to love her and love the way she loves you. A love story never seen or heard of, truly a happily ever after..

New Divide

Ever since the stone age, man has been trying to modernize himself, his resources and his people. Equipment as simple as tools for cutting and hunting were state of the art at that time. But due to the vulnerable nature of mankind, we always stayed in a group. Be it family, community, tribe and it goes on to civilizations.

The necessity of man to have an audience for everything gave rise to social norms and boundaries. Steadily we grew defining our needs with relationships, a family, a society, a culture and a civilization.

When we observe the genetic code of any living organism, it’s programmed to perform a specific task. The best examples are ants, mosquitoes and bees. They have an incredibly short span of life, but all of them perform a specific task which is hardwired in their genetic code. The purpose of all living organisms is to find food, shelter and mate to reproduce. All living organisms follow this rule. The ones who fail end up getting extinct. That may be because of their intrinsic coping mechanisms or external factors.

But when it comes to human beings, we have a complex code. We live complex lives. We can shape our lives, the way we want it. Our basic instincts are obscured with modernization, cultural norms, environmental influences. But the most recent one is our affinity towards a digital life. We care about what our image is on the net. We have developed a pseudo identity, which sadly is a reality for most. They live for this image, all acts finally end up to show irrelevant people how colourful their lives are, or how melancholic they feel. They have followers, they have fan pages, but in reality they’re hollow and alone.

What we are forgetting here is the human touch. Today, one can literally do everything by just sitting comfortably in his chair. We are worried about our digital relationships than real ones. It is very difficult to find good friends, share time with them. We have moved to such a shallow lifestyle that we’ve lost sympathy and empathy. Just posting for something doesn’t mean we care.

This New Divide caused by our modern, sophisticated and digital life has already damaged us enough. The time has come when even physical way of expression will be done with the help of technology. We look out for happiness in it, where as it just leaves us hollow and empty.

It’s not too late, to start living a real life. In these modern times technology is important, but it’s not everything. If we keep ignoring our basic instincts, one day we will lose it. Explore this endangered trait which really makes us humans. Let’s not let the New Divide split our lives and turn us into machines. Get out and meet people, make new friends, bring back the human touch.

Learn to live, not just survive.

Do it for YOURSELF..

There is a peculiar pattern humans follow, which is common in the young ones to eldest. It is the notion of “what will people think”. This thought has ruined a great number of lives, businesses, deals, relationships and friendships. I believe this social trait is engraved in our DNA to the core.

This is also one of the coping mechanisms to come to terms with what you really want to do without the burden of guilt. Although, guilt finds it’s way back in mysterious ways. What we tend to forget is that it doesn’t really matter, because the next time you have to do something that you feel bad about, you say something similar to yourself. After a while though, it stops feeling wrong.

The world we see is the way we see it. So it’s different for different people. Thus the world we see is a reflection of what is inside the mind, it’s state, it’s orientation. That’s why there are people who think everything is wrong in the world, which is a majority. But there’s no need to lose hope, there are people who believe the world is a beautiful place, with beautiful people.

Still, I don’t get it why we end up making all the wrong choices, wrong judgements and be happy about just doing something on our own. It’s okay to make a wrong decision and correct it after realising that it’s a disaster. You don’t need to live with your mistakes, you can just own it up and change the course. That’s the reason I brought up the thought that we think a great deal about the world.

Think about the world, how you affect it, how your decision however small may change it, how it will affect the lives of others. Just don’t forget, it will change things for you, and that’s what is more important. There is a huge amount of inertia in the world, regardless of the advances the inertia will remain the same. So no matter what you do, that extra resistance will be there.

In conclusion, YOU are the most important person in your life. Give some credit to yourself. When you think, think about the world as a whole and not the cohort to which you belong. Also, remember that the world is what you are inside.

!! Cheers to You and to Life!!

The Impossible Thought

…Continued from https://shridhar1461.wordpress.com/2018/09/18/the-impossible-dialogue/

4

After leaving from there Riya couldn’t go home. She needed sometime for herself to absorb what happened at the coffee shop. She drove to the garden where we used to meet. It wasn’t the same, there was a joggers track, new slides for the children and benches for people to sit on. She realized she reached the garden unknowingly. But somehow she was glad that she did. She went in and sat on a bench, few memories hit her. I called it The meeting place, the place where we laughed, the place where we fought, the place we made things right. Almost after every fight we met there and resolved the differences no matter what. She missed my company there, it was the first time she went there by herself.

5

I was still sitting in the CCD thinking what should I do now. I felt as if an old scar was opened up. I was sure this would happen if I met her, still like a fly burns itself in the flames I went on to get burnt. It really wasn’t that bad to meet her but in the end; the truth was that we were not together. I wanted something to take my mind off things. I thought of going to the meeting place but that would just add up to all the troubles. I thought it’s better I have another cup of coffee, so I ordered one and went back in time going through all the details whilst savouring my coffee. I ended up ordering one more till I reached where she told she wanted to break up. I shouldn’t have had agreed to her. I never thought of how things will be without her. I guess I didn’t know how much I loved her myself. I said to myself, it’s never too late. I picked up my phone and dialed her number.

6

She went through every word I said a while back. She knew that I always mean a lot more than I say. She really was one of the few who actually understood what I say. A mix of emotions and thoughts were going through in her mind.

He has not changed a bit, his eyes piercing through me, he was in agony but as usual learnt to live with it. Somehow he even enjoyed it; God, I hate him for that. Most of all he’s unbearably naive and carefree, he doesn’t care what happens, he just knows that he loves something or someone and then keeps going on. I hate it but that’s what made me love him so much.

She felt a void in her heart just like she did when we broke up. She couldn’t help think of us getting back together. The thought had overpowered every other thought and logic she had. Her eyes turned red, she saw the kids play through her teary eyes when reality met her. It was very difficult now that she knew it was too late. However, she still felt the drive to make it work again. She got up from the bench and walked towards her bike with a plan. Just as she turned the key her phone rang, “Hi, baby you’ve no idea I’ve missed you so much. Can you talk now?” said a familiar voice. She hanged up on the call with bewilderment and drove herself home.

7

Back at the CCD-
I held myself back before pressing the call button. I had to figure out what I was going to say. I wasn’t sure if she would answer it in the first place. I thought I will tell her that I missed being with her. Whatever it takes I wanted us to make things work. I thought that was good enough and to the point so I pressed the call button. The number you’re trying to reach is busy, please call again later, was the response from her cell phone. Am I doing the right thing? Should I wait or should I just go for it, make a bold move, I’ve got nothing to lose. So I texted her , “Hi Riya, need to talk to you. I know you said you don’t want to talk. Just once please” and waited for her reply because she usually never spoke to me when her parents were around.

8

I waited for about two days for her to reply. I gave her a call but she rejected it. She replied saying please, stop it. It wasn’t surprising but still it wasn’t easy. I realized I should drop the idea, and free both of us. I closed my eyes for a minute and then said to myself in Sam Neeson’s voice “Release the kraken“

The Impossible Dialogue

1
I usually check my smart phone after dinner. Every time I turn off the airplane mode my phone rings up with notifications of the whole day like it’s got a seizure. One night I get a WhatsApp message from an unknown number which turns out to be my ex- girlfriend. Hey, Riya here. Long time! Never thought you’ll keep the same number. How and where are you.? This took me aback because she never wanted to talk to me again. I looked at her display picture, she looked the same. Her photos never really came out good. I didn’t know what to do, I was frozen with what had really happened.

After about 30 mins and two cups of tea, unusual at that hour, I decided to reply back. Hey, long time. Didn’t expect to hear from you. I’m good, how about you? She said she’s doing well and preparing for higher studies abroad. I gave her my best and bid her good night as it was late, moreover it was immensely awkward. I didn’t hear from her a lot besides the usual small talk once in a while.

2
I came home for a couple of weeks to celebrate Ganesh chaturthi. Looking at my display picture Riya texted me asking if I was home. I said that I am. Coincidently, she was in town too and she proposed that we meet. I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea. I said that I would let her know. I decided that if she asks again I’ll meet her. Couple of days later, she asked again and I agreed.

The idea of meeting her was driving me crazy because it’s been more than 5 years since we broke up. I didn’t know what I was going to talk, rather I was scared of how I would behave with her. All attempts to curb the feelings I had for her and the residual feelings which I still have could just burst out in front of her. I never thought I would have to face a day like that.

3
We met at a CCD, the same one where we broke up. Ironically, the CCD outlet where we got committed went out of business a long time ago. I reached the place exactly on time, she was running late by 15 mins. So I waited at the parking. She arrived exactly after 15 mins, 15 long mins just as the ones before entering an exam Hall unprepared. So, there she was, wearing a green and purple salwar with designer embroidery. She looked great as always, just a little mature. I greeted her, and we went inside the CCD.

Me: Do you still love cafe mocha?

Riya: You remember. That’s sweet.

Me: You know I don’t forget. Would you like something to eat?

Riya: No, but it’s my treat. So tell me what you want, n please order the coffee. I know you don’t miss any opportunity.

Me: Hmm, not bad. I’m impressed. I’ll have a devil’s own.

Riya: Same old, same old. Alright, I’ll order them.

Riya: How have you been? You don’t seem to have changed at all, apart from your hair. I’m glad I wasn’t the reason for them to turn gray.

Me: Haha, you were the reason they started turning gray. Well you haven’t changed either. Still look great.

Riya: Thank you, when did I ever not look great to you. So I’m not sure if you’re just flattering me. Ah, here’s our coffee.

Me: No no, I seriously mean it. And I have always meant it. Give me a little credit.

Riya: I know, that’s what I liked about you. (There was an odd silence, she sipped her coffee) I’m sorry, didn’t want to bring this up.

Me: No, don’t be. I’d rather we talked about it.

Riya: I’m not sure.

Me: You never were.

Riya: Please.

Me: Okay, sorry. So what about your abroad education.? Never knew you wanted to do a PhD.

Still lost on the last sentence, her breathing became heavy. That happened whenever she was angry or sad.

Me: Riya, your coffee is getting cold.

Riya: Yeah, sorry, I lost you a while back. Oh yeah, I never thought I’ll pursue PhD. What about you. No future plans?

Me: Well, I’m set as of now. But mom and dad want me to get married.

We looked at each other. The same thought crossed her mind. What went wrong. Why didn’t it work out. She broke the silence this time. Her voice no longer firm.

Riya: What happened? Why did we end a perfect relationship. I have been an idiot to make you do it.

Me: I always knew you were an idiot.

Me: I did it because you wanted it and I was a bigger idiot. But seriously, tell me what made you do it. I mean everything was in place.

Riya: I thought things will change after college and I couldn’t have survived losing you because of long distance. It’s silly I know, but it helped us move on better.

Me: So you gave up on me. You never really did trust me. But still you moved on. I’m still there. You moved on, which is good. You found someone again, but I couldn’t, rather I didn’t. I learned how to live with it. Tried with all my heart to find someone. Now, I don’t know what I want. I’m not scared to love again and get hurt. You really meant the world to me and that someone too certainly will. But I’m not sure about that someone coming in my life.

A tear rolled out her eye, followed by another one. She held my hand.

Riya: I’m sorry, I thought I knew how much you loved me. But I guess I never will.

Me: No, you’re right. Leave all that.

Riya: I’m sorry again. I don’t think I can ever make things right. You deserve more and I know for sure you will find a girl who will love you more than I did.

Riya: But it’s better we don’t contact each other.

Me: Can I at least finish my coffee?

She just smiled and looked at me finish my coffee. She couldn’t take her teary eyes off me. As soon as I was done, she stood up, wiped her face, kissed me and left without saying a word.

I wondered what happened? Was it a reminder that I haven’t moved on, or just a joke played by time. Whatever it was, it was just _________. I don’t know what it was.

Artificial intelligence – Natural dumbness

It has been quite sometime when the first microprocessor was invented which could be programmed. It’s successors were all advancements to the original muP with superior functionalities and smaller size. But now we have gone a step further where the algorithm is linked and looped in such a way that the processor can think. In layman terms the processor can program itself. Isn’t that amazing? But that’s not the question, the question is whether my processor will out smart me?

I may be discussing a topic which has been discussed on many forums and platforms by people who are far more qualified to talk on the issue. I am not saying anything new, rather I’m trying to say it differently.

Since the advent of smart phones, I’ve come across very few people who use it smartly. Majority of them either use it for utter waste of time or keep cursing that time is wasted. So finally who is smarter? Some may say that man created the computer and not the other way around, but you aren’t that man. Food for thought.

Let’s make things bizarre, if God created man, he also created other creatures who are hardwired with their program. The programming may be comprehensive but it’s limited. On the other hand, man is also programmed but he has the ability to think, can exercise free will or has intelligence. Huge parts of code which either loops or is open ended to be altered with situation. And with this ability we are doing an amazing job in creating chaos. Perhaps some of us are trying to organize though.

Now imagine a processor starts behaving in such a manner, it’s getting all sci-fi, creates and procreates, upgrades and adapts to it’s needs which are the worst possibilities. But my concern is a little different, this artificial intelligence will further degrade the natural ability of common man to think. Just like we don’t remember any phone numbers now, we may not take the trouble to think. Rather we may be puppets to the instructions of these machines. We may end up being so dependent that the ability of decision making will be lost. There might be a time when there is direct proportionality to the dumbness of common man with the intelligence of machines.

We may end up in a world where artificial is intelligent and natural is dumb…

Democracy or Chaos

I tried stopping myself from writing this one, but couldn’t help it. The events in the recent past and the ones happening as you’re reading inspired me to think, to question myself and the others- people with sensibility and common sense. Is this what democracy means? The definition says it’s a government by the people, of the people and for the people. Well who are we fooling here? All the right we have is that we can vote. We can’t actually raise a voice saying I don’t like this, unless you’re a big shot politician or someone powerful. Then again, are we really interested?

We are selectively interested, so to say, we are interested in signing petitions which someone has conjured out of thin air and like fools we sign it. Put up a watermark or frame on the Independence day and republic day and my favorite one i.e., talking about it in front of the TV. Is this what a common man has to offer, are we so ignorant that we cannot understand what is happening or probably we are careless that we don’t give a dime? We need to change, ultimately we are the ones who suffer.

I chose the word chaos because that’s the state of our beloved country. The higher-ups are doing whatever they want, their demands are illogical. How will the country progress if there’s chaos at every level, at every project and every new idea. I’m not quoting any instances because I don’t want it to be a controversial article. I’m afraid it already is, HAHAHAHA. But seriously, we need to institute discipline in the way we work and discipline cannot be taught to us. Probably we are just incorrigible.

There is a saying “the more the merrier”, there is also a saying “too many cooks spoil the broth”. A country- it’s people, need to be smart in applying these sayings. We often do quite the opposite. We celebrate things by causing chaos and destruction, we are ready to break everything regardless of it’s importance. We divide people and fight on petty religious and regional issues. The common man doesn’t give a dime about these things. I wonder who fills in the protests- food for thought.

In conclusion, I’d like to ask this – do we as a nation deserve this, as citizens aren’t we responsible enough, as individuals morally obligated, and as intellectuals need to rise up and change?

Views, discussions and suggestions are welcome.

Digital Disconnect?

The advancement in the field of electronics has paved way for a better and smarter future, the world is just a touch away, everything is possible with the device in your pocket, but is there life in the world? Let’s see….

See the world beyond the 5 inch screen, there is a lot to it.

Our generation has seen the change the world has gone through. The transformation from analog to digital and we were greatly affected by the change, mostly in a good way. The transition from landline to cordless to Mobile to coloured phones to smart phones, and yes it is a fabulous change. Things have been easier than ever. I can sit at my home and book flights, buy stuff and what not. As far as utility is concerned, we’ve done a marvelous job. In return we tend to interact less with people, no negotations, just promo codes and cash backs. What about interpersonal relationships?

When it comes on the personal front, the advent of social media has been overwhelming. I seriously believe that it has done more harm than good. Whatever form it might be in, it has lured people like droseraceae. No doubt, it has helped with campaigns and propaganda, but what it has done eventually, is that people now post things to get acceptance. The idea has infiltrated in their minds so deep that now we’re on a social network to gain acceptance, rather than to connect. This idea has obviated the true purpose of social networking.

When it comes to the newer generation, our kids, they are most unfortunate. They will never know the happiness of rolling in mud, playing marbles, all they will know is to play on the phone, watch videos. They will use smart phones smartly, but will get dummer. There’ll be a time when they will chat with you, but they won’t have the time to talk to you.

In conclusion, digitization has made life easy, relations tough, connected the world, disconnected people. I will not blame technology for this, I blame myself, I blame myself for this unpleasant condition of the next generation. I have brought this upon them and myself.

Use technology as a tool not like a crutch, there will be life in your life.

The beginning.

It’s always wonderful when one expresses his love to the beloved, to say I love you, to embrace n kiss on the neck and sigh a wisper you mean the world to me. To be with her, never let the opportunity to not to be close to her. Not because of the attraction but because you’re too much attached. But all this is true when you are in a relationship, you’re at the sea. What about the situation when you’re in a desert? Is what you’re seeing an Oasis or a mirage? The situation is pretty tight.

The Oasis is much more beautiful than sea, which is why sometimes it’s too good to be true.

I made this absurd analogy just to indicate the depth of complication in the situation. There is love, there is trust but it doesn’t have a beginning. I know it’s difficult to find it n purge out the sense of hostility, but I hope it will work out just the way it should. All that, is left for time to reveal n when it’s time, the beginning will reveal itself.

The beginning is a long journey and the journey is trying. What should one do when he sees the beginning on the horizon but the harder you try getting there, the distance doesn’t seem to shrink. Seems like a paradox or a limbo.

I see you my love, and the love in your eyes. But it seems like the distance from the eyes to the tongue is infinite.

What I realized, is that the distance will reduce only when the beginning decides to come to me. The wait is long, the wait is terrible but that’s the only way.

I love you to the extent that I can wait for the beginning to come after my death.