Category Archives: love

The beginning.

It’s always wonderful when one expresses his love to the beloved, to say I love you, to embrace n kiss on the neck and sigh a wisper you mean the world to me. To be with her, never let the opportunity to not to be close to her. Not because of the attraction but because you’re too much attached. But all this is true when you are in a relationship, you’re at the sea. What about the situation when you’re in a desert? Is what you’re seeing an Oasis or a mirage? The situation is pretty tight.

The Oasis is much more beautiful than sea, which is why sometimes it’s too good to be true.

I made this absurd analogy just to indicate the depth of complication in the situation. There is love, there is trust but it doesn’t have a beginning. I know it’s difficult to find it n purge out the sense of hostility, but I hope it will work out just the way it should. All that, is left for time to reveal n when it’s time, the beginning will reveal itself.

The beginning is a long journey and the journey is trying. What should one do when he sees the beginning on the horizon but the harder you try getting there, the distance doesn’t seem to shrink. Seems like a paradox or a limbo.

I see you my love, and the love in your eyes. But it seems like the distance from the eyes to the tongue is infinite.

What I realized, is that the distance will reduce only when the beginning decides to come to me. The wait is long, the wait is terrible but that’s the only way.

I love you to the extent that I can wait for the beginning to come after my death.


In Love, with myself.

It is a fact that I love myself, I don’t​ mean it in a selfish sense, maybe naive, but trust me I have realized it sometime​ back. I am in a relationship with myself. Seems absurd right? Well, it is absurd, but then every other relationship is. I don’t think most will agree with this fact, so then let’s just create a perspective.

To love yourself, you should know what love is; now this is where the hard part starts. To know what love is you need to love another person, some unknown person whom you haven’t known all your life. You have to be in love, as  in truly madly deeply or some other pathetically romantic stuff. So are we in deep, true n crazy love? Very good. Now we’re ready for the ride. 

The lesson starts with a break up. I leave it to your wisdom how you do it, but you need to have a broken heart, if there is something like that. Now you spend few days in grief, you​ may feel that I’ve had enough. Curiously, this is the time people are interested in you, but you don’t give a dime. 

After a while when you gather some courage to face this love again, you’ll try your best but it may so happen that you aren’t really ready for a relationship again, probably worse if you’re crush isn’t interested. In either case you may have a second heart break. This time is pretty critical, you can either lose hope or go to the next level. Now you tend to feel desperate because it’s been a while now. This desperation turns into frustration. That’s short lived because you are about to enter a phase of self realisation. Now you might start to think that I was better off alone. And trust me you really are better off.. 

If that makes some sense then it’s easier to comprehend this perspective. It might seem all wrong, but there is so much room for yourself. You can actually introspect every move. You can never feel closer to yourself in any other way. The best part is you start talking to yourself, understand why you feel something, reason your behavior and others better. If there is something called the “inner peace” it’s very much achievable, that is a mighty good reason to love loving yourself.

Love or not? 

Someone rightly said that “there is love in friendship, but it’s not necessary that there’s friendship in love“, it’s a thought in which I truly believe. 

Most of the love stories don’t end well because one of the two is friend-zoned. This is something people don’t realize till it happens with them. Many of the crushes people have are on their friends but there isn’t the factor of love involved in it; at least not entirely. This is not the case when you are in love with your friend. I’m talking about the situation when you are in love with your friend, actually your best friend. And here the love is acknowledged but not entirely accepted. 

A situation like this can jeopardize your friendship, which is the worst fear anyone can have. You may lose both your love and friendship. Your love thinks the same and this becomes one of the reasons for her not to go further. It creates an irritating discomfort between them.

There’s another case which is the best kind of relationship I can imagine to have. You love your friend n your friend loves you back. It’s  in such a state where the fate of the relationship is uncertain. It’s actually in a limbo, in an intermediate state where you’re neither just friends nor are you a couple. There is some amount of commitment which is undecided n unbounded. So I love my friend n she loves me too. But there is no name to the relation. It may someday blossom into a full fledged relationship or just settle down to friendship. Either case she’s mine forever.

This thought gives me a chill through the spine everytime I think about her. It’s like the feeling when you are painting a masterpiece but you don’t want to finish it, like a journey that you don’t want to end. I like her very much and definitely want her in my life as my love. I sometimes think that it should always be in this state. I’m very sure that it is my TRUE true love. I don’t know what is the outcome of this. But whatever it may be, it’s just pure n beautiful. It might just be the best thing that will ever happen to me. 

​The TRUE true love..

There was a time when falling in love was a long and exciting experience.  When it was that cautious and careful dialogue everytime you spoke with your beloved. How it was much difficult to confront her with the truth. And a herculean task just to tell her how you felt about her, that you wanted to share your life with her and that she now meant the world to you. 

Once you’ve spoken your heart out or nearly done that and to learn that she feels exactly the same way you do. Wow! What an amazing feeling that is. That first  unspoken dialogue between the eyes, which actually sinks down to the soul, it’s just unforgettable.

Those moments spent together, the holding of hands under the table, the bunking of lectures, all those small things just to see that cute smile n sparkling lovely eyes.  The money saved just to buy her the perfect b’day gift. Those rare occasions where you got a peck from her. Where has it all gone now? 

All I see now is a virtual world, a virtual life. There aren’t enough occasions you actually meet before you fall in love. Negligible amount of quality time spent together. No fear of losing her even before she’s yours to lose. Everything is taken for granted. The feeling of being loved is lost in time. Most of the love stories start on social media, continue and end on social media. 

The days of passing letters, writing poems, doing things which meant a great deal and the experiences of those feelings are gone. It’s the time of hook-ups, one night stands and friends with benefits. Love has been restricted to physical attraction and interaction.
I want to get that love back, that lost love which was more meaningful more of a soulful experience, maybe less adventurous, the love that defined a beautiful relationship and the people in it. Maybe I’ll have to wait for eternity to find love, but I guess it’s worth the wait.