All posts by shridhar1461

The beginning.

It’s always wonderful when one expresses his love to the beloved, to say I love you, to embrace n kiss on the neck and sigh a wisper you mean the world to me. To be with her, never let the opportunity to not to be close to her. Not because of the attraction but because you’re too much attached. But all this is true when you are in a relationship, you’re at the sea. What about the situation when you’re in a desert? Is what you’re seeing an Oasis or a mirage? The situation is pretty tight.

The Oasis is much more beautiful than sea, which is why sometimes it’s too good to be true.

I made this absurd analogy just to indicate the depth of complication in the situation. There is love, there is trust but it doesn’t have a beginning. I know it’s difficult to find it n purge out the sense of hostility, but I hope it will work out just the way it should. All that, is left for time to reveal n when it’s time, the beginning will reveal itself.

The beginning is a long journey and the journey is trying. What should one do when he sees the beginning on the horizon but the harder you try getting there, the distance doesn’t seem to shrink. Seems like a paradox or a limbo. 

I see you my love, and the love in your eyes. But it seems like the distance from the eyes to the tongue is infinite.

What I realized, is that the distance will reduce only when the beginning decides to come to me. The wait is long, the wait is terrible but that’s the only way.

I love you to the extent that I can wait for the beginning to come after my death. 

In Love, with myself.

It is a fact that I love myself, I don’t​ mean it in a selfish sense, maybe naive, but trust me I have realized it sometime​ back. I am in a relationship with myself. Seems absurd right? Well, it is absurd, but then every other relationship is. I don’t think most will agree with this fact, so then let’s just create a perspective.

To love yourself, you should know what love is; now this is where the hard part starts. To know what love is you need to love another person, some unknown person whom you haven’t known all your life. You have to be in love, as  in truly madly deeply or some other pathetically romantic stuff. So are we in deep, true n crazy love? Very good. Now we’re ready for the ride. 

The lesson starts with a break up. I leave it to your wisdom how you do it, but you need to have a broken heart, if there is something like that. Now you spend few days in grief, you​ may feel that I’ve had enough. Curiously, this is the time people are interested in you, but you don’t give a dime. 

After a while when you gather some courage to face this love again, you’ll try your best but it may so happen that you aren’t really ready for a relationship again, probably worse if you’re crush isn’t interested. In either case you may have a second heart break. This time is pretty critical, you can either lose hope or go to the next level. Now you tend to feel desperate because it’s been a while now. This desperation turns into frustration. That’s short lived because you are about to enter a phase of self realisation. Now you might start to think that I was better off alone. And trust me you really are better off.. 

If that makes some sense then it’s easier to comprehend this perspective. It might seem all wrong, but there is so much room for yourself. You can actually introspect every move. You can never feel closer to yourself in any other way. The best part is you start talking to yourself, understand why you feel something, reason your behavior and others better. If there is something called the “inner peace” it’s very much achievable, that is a mighty good reason to love loving yourself.

Evolution, need of the hour.

I am not planning to dwell on the meaning of evolution, but it’s a change for good. I feel there is great need for us to evolve psychologically and socially. This blog is dedicated especially to the girl I don’t know, and all the others I do.

 I still don’t understand why it is the ultimate climax of most of the situations​ involving a man and a woman. At some point of time either of them feel it that way, however short the interaction is. It has become our nature to think that way and the prevailing circumstances tend us to do so. But, the question is, is that right..? 

This question lingers​ in my mind from time to time, but this time it just triggered me to think. I was alone in a share rickshaw waiting for other fellow travelers. Now there comes a good looking girl who sits beside me, she’s​ probably going home after work. Then comes a big man n he sits beside me too. It all starts now, the awkwardness sets in; It’s quite difficult to give them space you​ know.
Well the point is, the lady was feeling uncomfortable with two unknown men sitting next to her. Not that I was rejoicing her company, that thought made me uncomfortable, rather disturbed. Her body language said it all; the way she clenched the rod, her fruitless efforts to shrink n occupy lesser space, or the way she fidgitted with her cellphone​ checking it twice a minute. I developed a sudden urge to tell her​, “lady, please relax, it’s fine“, but I didn’t, I couldn’t.  The ride lasted for around 20 mins and 19 minutes I just held myself not to say anything n just sat tight. 

What troubled me was the thought of insecurity in her mind, and the lack of assurance from my side. That’s the reason, I believe we need to evolve and evolve soon. Both the genders have to think alike, respect and have trust. There has to be a sense in men so that the women around them don’t feel intimidated and women, the belief that every other guy is not planning to act funny (most of the times people do).

To sum up, I think there has to be a radical change in people, of both genders, which will let everybody live in a rational and civilised society. The next time I share a seat with a woman, I don’t want to feel the same, rather I’d like to wish her n ask how was her day, if that’s not too much. It’s not impossible, but will need contribution from every soul who shares my concern and everyone whose answer is a yes. Do you want this to be a better place..? 

Love or not? 

Someone rightly said that “there is love in friendship, but it’s not necessary that there’s friendship in love“, it’s a thought in which I truly believe. 

Most of the love stories don’t end well because one of the two is friend-zoned. This is something people don’t realize till it happens with them. Many of the crushes people have are on their friends but there isn’t the factor of love involved in it; at least not entirely. This is not the case when you are in love with your friend. I’m talking about the situation when you are in love with your friend, actually your best friend. And here the love is acknowledged but not entirely accepted. 

A situation like this can jeopardize your friendship, which is the worst fear anyone can have. You may lose both your love and friendship. Your love thinks the same and this becomes one of the reasons for her not to go further. It creates an irritating discomfort between them.

There’s another case which is the best kind of relationship I can imagine to have. You love your friend n your friend loves you back. It’s  in such a state where the fate of the relationship is uncertain. It’s actually in a limbo, in an intermediate state where you’re neither just friends nor are you a couple. There is some amount of commitment which is undecided n unbounded. So I love my friend n she loves me too. But there is no name to the relation. It may someday blossom into a full fledged relationship or just settle down to friendship. Either case she’s mine forever.

This thought gives me a chill through the spine everytime I think about her. It’s like the feeling when you are painting a masterpiece but you don’t want to finish it, like a journey that you don’t want to end. I like her very much and definitely want her in my life as my love. I sometimes think that it should always be in this state. I’m very sure that it is my TRUE true love.http://wp.me/p7TPF5-2 I don’t know what is the outcome of this. But whatever it may be, it’s just pure n beautiful. It might just be the best thing that will ever happen to me. 

To be or not to be

Well I don’t know what title will suit best.  This time rather it’s quite difficult to even think of a topic.  I don’t know how relevant this topic is, but somehow I was thinking about it today. Is it really good “being human“? 

This question has arised in my mind a million times, the feeling of being the only fool in this world or being the only logical person around. I guess everybody feels this sometime or the other. So what is the conclusion of all this thought process? Is it of any consequence? There are no answers to these questions. 

Alternatively, I came up with a theory, there is no reason to be human. Humans are weak, feeble and fickle people. The rules set by them are actually formulated so that their weakness can be concealed, or they can console themselves. Their atrocities can be justified and they can oppress others. I am not amplifying these characteristics nor pointing out any particular one, just so, it can be generalised. 

To rise above all this, I have to stop being human. Just to save myself from this ordeal I came up with a thought of being a beast, not literally but in spirit, to live without rules. This will keep things simple. These rules which act like shackles n build frustration. When all these are not there, then there’s no need to be miserable, maybe self-righteous, but contented. 

So what should the choice be? To have rules n be a terrible human or not to have rules n be a better beast? Just something to think about. 

​The TRUE true love..

There was a time when falling in love was a long and exciting experience.  When it was that cautious and careful dialogue everytime you spoke with your beloved. How it was much difficult to confront her with the truth. And a herculean task just to tell her how you felt about her, that you wanted to share your life with her and that she now meant the world to you. 

Once you’ve spoken your heart out or nearly done that and to learn that she feels exactly the same way you do. Wow! What an amazing feeling that is. That first  unspoken dialogue between the eyes, which actually sinks down to the soul, it’s just unforgettable.

Those moments spent together, the holding of hands under the table, the bunking of lectures, all those small things just to see that cute smile n sparkling lovely eyes.  The money saved just to buy her the perfect b’day gift. Those rare occasions where you got a peck from her. Where has it all gone now? 

All I see now is a virtual world, a virtual life. There aren’t enough occasions you actually meet before you fall in love. Negligible amount of quality time spent together. No fear of losing her even before she’s yours to lose. Everything is taken for granted. The feeling of being loved is lost in time. Most of the love stories start on social media, continue and end on social media. 

The days of passing letters, writing poems, doing things which meant a great deal and the experiences of those feelings are gone. It’s the time of hook-ups, one night stands and friends with benefits. Love has been restricted to physical attraction and interaction.
I want to get that love back, that lost love which was more meaningful more of a soulful experience, maybe less adventurous, the love that defined a beautiful relationship and the people in it. Maybe I’ll have to wait for eternity to find love, but I guess it’s worth the wait.